Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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