i already hear my dad disowning me
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
