I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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