I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
