p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
