I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
