He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
