Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
