Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I could make wine with my vomit
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
