i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
