Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
