I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
