she was so not down for the gang bang
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
