k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
