I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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