All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
