i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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