The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
