we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
