All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Don't make out with my wife yet
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
