just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i just had sex bonerless
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Randomize
