When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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