How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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