Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
