I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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