I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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