bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
