HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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