I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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