tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
