Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
