I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
