All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
