So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Randomize
