I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
