I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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