Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
