Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
porn star boner night. come get it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
