R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it was like eating out sand paper
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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