so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize