I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
