I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
