NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
