he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
