it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
