Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
