i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Someone shattered a urinal.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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