maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We need to rekindle our bromance
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
