Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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