Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
