I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
