instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
